I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
