the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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