I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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