Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
