So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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