Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
