so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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