Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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