I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
