I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
