I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Shame is for Republicans.
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