dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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