i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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