We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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