I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
