Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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