drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
