Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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