btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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