Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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