Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
