heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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