Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
