dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
...so i touched it.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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