I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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