And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
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The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
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how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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