The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
