My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
