morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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