Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
