am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So many bounce houses so little time
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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