You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
