This is not my ceiling
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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