Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just took my morning after pill in the library
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
