I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think my vagina is haunted
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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