I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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