Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
