I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
