im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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