You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
as a side note pls kill me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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