In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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