I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize