you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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