Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
