Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
wow bdsm is so cute
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