Christians are straight up FREAKS
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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