my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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