At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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