On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
