this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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