I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
