And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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