belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize