3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
