she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
