is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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