4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize