Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
