It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
