my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
