how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
