Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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